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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It`s only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You`ll be just fine.
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber just to open it.
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.