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Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
What if the weather talks about us?
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers make any f*cking sense.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco for one more sec
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.