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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.
I am the undefeated champion of this”smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don’t-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day” game.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.