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My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. . . . well. . . she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Unlike milk, it is perfectly ok to cry over spilled whiskey.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
If cockroaches can survive atomic bombs and chemical warfare, what the f*ck is in a can of Raid?
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
Just ONCE I`d like someone to call me "sir" without adding "this is a place of business, please put your pants back on."
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work