Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
I often ask myself "What`s wrong with me?" and the answer is ALWAYS "You can`t drink at work"
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.
"I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional