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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
If my walls could talk, they`d probably say "stop running into me you idiot"
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.