Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
only 9530 days until retirement.
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn’t named Marvin.
No matter what I get, it’s impossible not to sound like a douche when saying my order at Starbucks.