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I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
My penis was in the Guinness book of World Records. Then the librarian told me I had to take it out before she called security.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.