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Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved about your spouse when first dating? Well, after 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.