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I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.