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Million dollar idea: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you`re up.
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.