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Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
Relatives - Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too.
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
I get very annoyed when people mix up there, they`re and their. From now on I`m going to point it out, weather they like it or not.
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?