Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)