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Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."