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Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
Try trick or treating in spandex... I`ve seen how much it can hold.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.