Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
If you have a tattoo on your face, you`ve lost the right to ask me what I`m looking at.
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.
I never let anyone see me eat junk food. Not because I`m afraid they will judge me. I just don`t want to share.
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!