Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
When in doubt, take a nap.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.