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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
*Gets absolutely nothing done*… Welp time for a break.
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
I wasn´t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.