Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
Miracle Whip is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.
I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends."
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Remember this when you are drunk: You can`t fall off the floor.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
Today`s the day I like to sneak onto the intercom at Walmart and say "would Jason Voorhees please report to aisle 13."
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired
"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.