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Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous...Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet.
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
It`s okay I`ll text myself back.
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.