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I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
Tomorrow, I`m going to open up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can`t wait to see how big my puppy got!
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
The problem with alcohol is that... it wears off.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?