Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you can`t handle me at my worst...I don`t blame you, neither can I.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.