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The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
Sometimes Google should just come back with an answer that says, `Trust me, you don`t want to know.`
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
Women who say the quickest way to a man`s heart is through his stomach, have not seen his browser history.
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.