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Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
Whoever figured out the `days of the month correspond with your knuckles` thing had too much time on their hands
I realized my superpower.. I can walk into ANY bathroom.. And the toilet paper roll will be empty..
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
lord, we beg you for tupac, and in return you can have justin bieber
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
awesome collection!