Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
For Display Only` signs on the toilets at Home Depot. Sorry guys my bad. ;)
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
I checked my calendar, and I won`t give a f*ck tomorrow either.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.