Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
The sense of success when you’ve had something stuck between your teeth and you manage to free it after 25 mins of tactical tongue pressure.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.