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Fighting is bad. Breaking up a fight between a douchebag and the bar owner is good. Thank God I`m a ninja.
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun