Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
Clapping: Repeatedly high-fiving yourself for someone else`s accomplishments.
I’m glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
I know how to wink my eye in like twelve different languages.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.