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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Girl: What`s the plan, get me drunk and take advantage of me. Boy: Good, you`ve done this before
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
Whoever figured out the `days of the month correspond with your knuckles` thing had too much time on their hands
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you "fall asleep right now".
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
I ordered an Asian hooker last night. She showed up 2 hours late. She loved me wrong time.