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So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
It`s spooky how many kids look like their owners.