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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a f*cking b!tch all the time.
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
Girl says to her Blonde friend, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blonde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian??
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
When it`s raining I don`t work, when its sunny I don`t work, when its cloudy I call in sick!
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.