Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
It`s not cellulite, it`s my body`s way of saying "I`m sexy" ... in braille.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
Dear middle finger: thank you for always sticking up for me.
Duct tape can`t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.
It`s spooky how many kids look like their owners.