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And then her mood ring just...exploded
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.