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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Computer froze? Just press all the keys.
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again.