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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
The only human interaction I want for the rest of the day is the exchange of money between me and the liquor store cashier
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around