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The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
why me is me ?
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator. Hahaha I’m so sorry. No I’m not.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.