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If I like you, I’ll let you hold the TV remote when we watch TV. If I love you, I won’t take the batteries out of it beforehand.
Crap, summer is here and I`m nowhere near in drinking shape yet.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often