Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.
Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
I’m giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk