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Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
There’s no excuse for my behavior, so I’m drinking until I have one.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!