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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
If A Couple in Love are called Love Birds, then a couple who fight with each other should be called Angry Birds.
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.