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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
wants to rock and roll all night
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.