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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
Someone asked me today if ive ever been with two women at the same time. But why would I want to disappoint two women at the same time?
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?
Flu (noun) - The only time when having used tissues laying next to your bed is socially acceptable.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!