Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
I’m going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting nine hours of sleep.
How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don`t have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn’t mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.