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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.