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Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
I carry a knife, but it`s just in case of cake.