Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.