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I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.