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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
Sometimes I feel happy, but then the Oreos run out.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?