Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.