Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
My house has really let itself go.
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I`d go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late.