Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
Silence is Golden, except when coming from children… Then you’d better go check to see what’s broken.
You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
Match dot com, but for socks.
Boss: Why aren`t you working? Me: I didn`t see you coming!
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
The good thing about "poking" on Facebook, no babies are created.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.