Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
Now that my kids are getting older, I`m worried I`ll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Meant to tell my kid "Good night, I love you," but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school tomorrow because this is bullsh!t"
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ β€œAfter your funeral...”
I feel bad for the photons that travel 93 million miles from the sun and then have to bounce off your stupid face.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.