Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Michael Schumacher`s former crew just visited him in the hospital. They changed the wheels on his bed and his drip in 4.4 secs.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
When I`m all out of alcohol...haha! Just kidding! I`d never let that scenario become a reality.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
I`m not saying I`m out of shape but I just stretched, got winded, and need to lie down