Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
If I was a funeral director, I would tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.Then the zombie apocalypse would be hilarious.
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
People say 60 is the new 40 but the cop who just pulled me over doesn`t agree.
Lies I`ll never stop telling: 1. I`d never put you in a home, mom. 2. It`s 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.