Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
Is it just me, or does this gravy I made taste like scotch? Anyway, best Thanksgiving EVER!
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver.
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson