Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayin’
OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
Karaoke bars combine two of the worlds greatest evils—people who shouldn`t drink with people who shouldn`t sing.
Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."